SUPERSTAR

venting

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 16:27:59 GMT

i'm sure i've forgotten some of the specifics in my bouts of rage...

so the monday before labor day my boyfriend dumped me for no apparent reason. it thought everything was going well and that, that night we were going to do some serious talking about life, etc- not that he would dump me.

the 2 excuses he gave were "we are 2 different people" and "i dont see us working out in the long term" which i replied "are you looking for something long term" he said no.
so needless to say i am pissed that he tried to use a gemeric line on me and thought it would work.

basically he never wanted to talk to me about the issues.

I went home to chicago for labor day, that was nice...

He sends me an email Sunday while I am in Chicago:
HIM:
August 31 at 2:24pm
Hey. Hope you're enjoying home. Thank you for tagging the beach pictures. I hope I can see you when you get back, I will try to be more talkative. I'm dog-sitting the dogs right now. They miss blake so I'm letting them hang out on my bed for a while. How are you?

ME:
September 1 at 7:22pm
I am as well as well can be, I am enjoying being home in the summer and catching up with many old friends. I'll be back tomorrow in the late afternoon, if you want to see me you know where I'll be

So yesterday he sends me a text asking if I want to get a drink after work. I said sure. So we meet. order drinks, he offers to pay and I said "no i can pay for my own drink"

We sit down and small talk. he asks me if my brother is mad at him still. i say what? apparently my brother sent HIM a really angry email monday after he broke up with me.

then he says to me "I'm glad you're not mad at me" and I look at him and say "who said I'm not mad?" he says "well at least you arent overtly mad".
he said "i'm sorry about last monday"
i said "I'm sorry that you tried to feed me a bull-shit line and thought it would work"
then he said that he had been thinking about the future and i asked him why didnt he discuss it with me or ask what i thought, he didnt have an answer. then I asked him if me being in his life was more of a negative force than a positive and he said no it was more positive. he said things seemed to be getting serious and he wasnt sure if he wanted a serious relationship, i said again he should have brought that up because i dont know what i am looking for either and i was living day-to-day and that seemed to be working out great. then i told him to stop saying the same things over and over and to tell me the truth and he said that our views on life are different and that I have darker views and i'm a very intense person. I said to him, "did you ever think i was being sarcastic when i said those dark things in order to provolk a discussion from you?" and he stared at me because no he hadnt thought of that. I said I would have loved to know your views but you didnt want to tell me.
then i asked him "what exactly about me is it that made you want to break up with me?" i really wanted to know so i can improve as a person....
he said to me "Discussing that will do more harm than good"
so I yelled at him "I thought that's what we were Fucking here to discuss!" and I grabbed my purse and stormed out of the bar.

"more harm than good" who the fuck does he think he is? the only reason he wanted to meet with me was to make himself feel better about himself. and when i told him that he made me feel usless and like i was a last resort to hang out with the last week we were together he said nothing.

everything he said during that conversation was to put me down and make me feel like crap. at least i'm an honest person and if you ask me a question i will give you an honest answer. he wasted my time and now i'm super pissed and he did not know me well enough to know not to piss me off

**Oh for those of you who dont know- he moved in with one of my best friends after we started dating- so, yeah.**

Happy New Year!

Mon, 07 Jan 2008 22:31:44 GMT

What a New Year! And only in the 1st week!

OUT WITH THE OLD
I decided to start the new year off with a clean slate. So I am single and ready to do what i need to do to be happy and lead the life i need to lead.
Ex-BF moved into the spare room, and has decided to move out Feb 1, anyone need a room???

IN WITH THE NEW
I honestly didn't expect so much newness to happen so fast but it did.
~ Ex-BF moved into the spare bedroom, So I now have my own space
~ Used my Christmas money to buy much needed drawing and painting supplies so I can be creative again
~ Bought tickets to a big New Year's Eve bash with my homosexual life-mate
~ I had a list of New Year's resolutions, mostly about what I want in my next relationship
and I kid you not
- Exercise more - in progress
- Date a scientist - check
- Date a foreigner - check
- Date the whole package - check
- Have amazing sex - check
- Go to more museums - check
- Spend more time enjoying the city - check
- train Betsy - in progress
- Finish a script - working on getting the programme
- Travel out of the country - depends on how much I owe the government, but I have some very
appealing offers!

It is only 7 days into the New Year and I have hit most of my list, and completely by chance.
New Year's eve at the Party Kev and I attended, we met a group of similar spirits and amongst them was a Belgian Molecular PetroChemist, single, handsome, and of legal age!
I will have to write more later but to get to the point, we kissed at midnight and were inseparable for 5 days until he had to leave for Belgium :-(

Bored

Thu, 02 Aug 2007 00:03:12 GMT

It's been a good while since I've updated. I graduated finally, and on time! I have job, which is nice except I am very BORED

Not only bored in the usual sense, bored with everything.

BORED with my job
BORED with hunting for a 2nd job
BORED at home cleaning & cooking. I do NOT want to be a home maker and I feel like that is what I am becoming out of necessity .
BORED with my relationship
BORED from not seeing my friends at all because it is summer, and that is just plain lame
BORED with out my Sarah & Ashley and therefore
BORED with not being able to afford to fly home to visit until Christmas
BORED with not being creative, I need to make something whether it be a film, painting, script. But I don't have time or people to do it with because no one has time
BORED with this country I need adventure and I need it now

At least Betsy Wetsy never ceases to surprise me :-)

I need more from life and out of it. I need to win the lottery

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 04:31:31 GMT

Your Life Is Worth...

$1,087,000

How Much Is Your Life Worth?

Sun, 10 Sep 2006 05:03:29 GMT

You Are Guinness

You know beer well, and you'll only drink the best beers in the world.

Watered down beers disgust you, as do the people who drink them.

When you drink, you tend to become a bit of a know it all - especially about subjects you don't know well.

But your friends tolerate your drunken ways, because you introduce them to the best beers around.

What's Your Beer Personality?

Sun, 10 Sep 2006 03:25:17 GMT

You Are a Henna Gaijin!

You're not Japanese, but you wish you were!
You can use chopsticks with your eyes closed, and you've memorized hundreds of Kanji.
You even answer your phone "moshi moshi."
While the number of anime videos you've seen is way higher than the number of dates you've been on, there's hope.
Play the sexy, mysterous gaijin, and you'll have plenty of Japanese meat.

What's Your Japanese Subculture?

My Red Glasses

Sat, 24 Jun 2006 21:47:05 GMT

What you have all been waiting for... the exciting story behind my new job.....

It was a day like any other day in of the summer 2006 in NYC. I was ready for my editing class, backpack full of learning devices, a ball cap and my ipod in my ears as I walked out of my dorm and up Lafayette towards campus. I was aware of the film that was shooting on Lafayette on my way to class, it had been there for the past 3 days, nothing new really, there are always film crews around NYC. So I wonder through in my own little world, like usual, when a man approaches me, yelling "excuse me Miss!" several times until I take my head phones off.

I thought to myself, hmmm does he need directions?

Until he tells me that he works for Spiderman 3, they are looking for non-union extras, and if I am interested to send an email to the address on the card he handed me and make sure to write where I was approached in it. Then he swiftly ran off. And I went to class.
As soon as I arrived home I sent the email of my interest. And the next morning I had a response back with a number to call.

So I call the number and ask for Ray. Ray begins to interrogate me about being a non-SAG actor, this is because I have the word 'film' in my email address. I eased his mind by telling him that I am merely a film student and that is why. He took interest in this and said we should meet to discuss the shoot.

We meet. I rescue him from a crazy actress 'the tomata', and we go to a wrap party for Enchantment, a disney movie about dancing. We talk about me being an extra, I am supposed to be a reporter..... and the reason he stopped me in the street is because my red glasses made me look like a reporter... and get this I almost never wear my glasses to class, i put them on when i get there, but that day was a complete fluke. Anyway He tells me that banana republic is sponsoring the film so I need to get an outfit from there the next day, courtesy of spiderman. Awesome I am pumped.
So he starts asking me questions about being a film student and how much time I have left, ect.
He tells me that he is starting his own Production Company, New World Media Productions, and that he has been working in film since he was 17.
Then he tells me that he needs an executive assistant and asks me if i would be interested... so I said yes.

and that is the VERY simplified version of how I got my job because of my red glasses.

So I havent actually acted in the reporter scene because SAG is being evil.
However I do get to go to a meeting with Ray 7 Sam Raimi.
And I want to tell you more but I will sound like I am bragging, which I am, because I am so excited.
4 years of film school only to get a job from the street

Sun, 11 Jun 2006 06:28:05 GMT

Q: "What possesd you to do this???"
A: " Well maybe I should just go there instead and avoid questions of my judgment. That is because shes worth it, and uses great stolen terms from the Britts. Hence the reason I'm am involved"

Elijah Wood

Sun, 11 Jun 2006 03:23:03 GMT

Went to the Gogol Bordello concert last night and it was amazing!! If you dont know who they are, you should check them out. They are the best Ukrainian Gypsy punk rock band ever!
I went with Lauren and we stood in line early and got spots at the very front against the railing and about 15 minutes into Gogol, ELIJAH WOOD CAME OUT AND stood infront of us and took pics of the show! he even took a picture of us too!!!

He also has the same digital camera as me!! The Canon Elph SD 550... I'm a nerd

Going Home to Chicago This Weekend

Thu, 01 Jun 2006 02:46:12 GMT

He wants to take me to see the sunrise on Saturday....

Memorial Day in NYC

Sun, 28 May 2006 23:55:02 GMT

Today Andrea, Lourdes & I went to the Naval ships docked on port 88 for Memorial day. And here is a picture diary of what happened.
We met some nice Marines, Gonzales & Davies

And they both taught me how to shoot a M9 Handgun

And we played in a TANK with 6 year olds

And then I flew us around Manhattan in a Military helicopter

And then we lived happily ever after!
Until next time...

JOB

Fri, 26 May 2006 23:01:57 GMT

I have applied for over 30 jobs in the past 5 days.... no phone calls back and I have stooped so low as to applied for several shot girl jobs.. in which i had to send pictures of myself
My inner monologue went something like this:
A picture... do I even have a picture where I am not kissing Lisa, picking my nose or doing the Dr. Evil, oh this one is okay.. but i am soo pastey and my cleavage...oh and this one I am mostly naked...well maybe thats what they want, but I don't want them to think I'm a whore... well I guess thats the point of being a shot girl... damnit *end scene*

Wed, 24 May 2006 17:51:43 GMT

I can officially go to mexican restaurants again, without crying.

Back

Sun, 21 May 2006 21:53:41 GMT

So I said, " You know what?! I am tired of being his back up girl!!"
And he said, "You shouldn't ever be anyone's back up."
And then I fell
for him

Oxford vs Cambridge

Sun, 02 Apr 2006 19:02:16 GMT

Today was some infamous yearly crew race between Oxford & Cambridge. Oxford won. I went to a pub to meet my Irish friend Matt & his mates.
Wow, I didn't realize how much I liked that guy. He's adorable, has an accent, and comfortably social. Plus he likes the same drinks as me, Guiness ans Rum & Coke. Sigh...
However his school session ends here this week so he'll be off to Ireland until May.
BUuuuut, Lisa & I will be in Dublin for our 4 day Easter break... mwahahaha and we are going to get together
All I want is to marry a splendid foreign man, and live happily ever after in the Tower of London...

Pirate Screenplay: scene 1, let me know what you think

Sat, 01 Apr 2006 16:20:55 GMT

INT. MORIARTY PLANTATION HOUSE SALON- NIGHT, Port Royal, Jamacia
ELIZABETH MORIARTY, a refined Londoner of 33, sits alongside her husband, ABNER MORIARTY, a greying 41 year old Scottish descendant, in front of a table in their salon. On the table lie seven palm sized portraits of gentlemen, with a stack of letter beside them, glowing by the light of the fireplace.
ELIZABETH
Abner, darling...
[Abner stares into the fire. Elizabeth reaches for one of the portraits and picks it up.]
ELIZABETH
Abner, dear...
[Abner turns startled to his wife.]
ABNER
Oh, yes?
[Elizabeth strokes the frame of the portrait.]
ELIZABETH
We’ve made the right choice.
[Abner reaches for one of the letters.]
ABNER
Yes, I do agree. He comes highly
recommended from your... Aunt was it?
[Abner scans the letter. Elizabeth smiles. ]
ELIZABETH
From my second cousin, Jayne.
They were companions as children.
He runs a pocket mirror company.
[Abner looks up at Elizabeth. ]
ABNER
Oh yes, that’s quite right.
[Abner puts the letter down and turns back to the fire. Elizabeth looks up from the portrait to Abner. Elizabeth places her hand lovingly on his arm.]
ELIZABETH
Abner, love, are you
missing her already?
[Abner glances over startled again.]
ABNER
No no. (pause) I mean yes,
I will miss her, the
accounts that’s all.
[Abner looks back at the fire.]
ELIZABETH
This is no time to be
thinking about business Abner!
[Elizabeth clutches the portrait.]
ELIZABETH
In two night’s time we are
going to be making all of
Rose’s dreams come true!

ABNER
What were you dreaming?
(pause) Oh, yes, Rose.
[Elizabeth stands and spins gracefully.]
ELIZABETH
A wonderful formal dinner
with all the best dishes!
[Abner does not move his head from the fire.]
ABNER
Of course...
[Elizabeth stops and looks towards Abner.]
ELIZABETH
Misses Robert East,
oh how divine!

London

Sat, 01 Apr 2006 16:10:41 GMT

So I was walking to the grocery store today, to replentish my refridgerator, when it really sunk in how much I am going to miss this city when I leave. The pubs on every corner, the peg footed pidgeons, being able to walk to the store with no bra on and a sweatshirt, without any cat calls or funny looks, being able to walk home at 3am and not worry too much about being stabbed or shot. But most of all I am really going to miss all of my British posse. They are so chivalrous, and gentlemen, its ridiculous. You can't find that in the States... and their non stop sarcasim, which makes me right at home :-)
So, I WILL move back. This fall, I am going to apply for jobs in London, BBC, iTV, everything.
Not to say that I don't miss my Chicago and New York gangs, because I do. I'd have to say for everytime any of you have thought of me, I've thought about you 4 times as much. There is just something about this city, that is imperitive to my successful exhistance as a human being. It's just a feeling, I haven't had in NYC or Chicago. And I think its only a feelimg that you understand after you've lived somewhere, not just visited.I sound like such a sap right now. but I know noone really reads this anyway. so there! I'll be as sentimental in my journal as I want, because I tend to bottle it all up in reality!

Daddy's Girl

Sat, 04 Feb 2006 19:20:06 GMT

I was having a casual AIM chat with my dad, and I just burst into tears. I really miss my dad...

London

Fri, 03 Feb 2006 12:32:51 GMT

Most people who know me know my deep hatred for humanity... because I say it all the time. ALL THE TIME.
However since my ventures here in London, I have yet to claim it to anyone... So as my conclusion, and I quote myself...
" I had though I hated humanity, but since I've been here, I realize- I just hate Americans"

I know I would...

Mon, 09 Jan 2006 21:29:04 GMT

If you TRUELY cared for me,
then you would FIGHT for me...

New Year Resolution

Sun, 08 Jan 2006 06:38:07 GMT

I have officially reconciled with all my ex-boyfriends. and as a result my New Year Resolution has sprung forth. Not to have my heart broken again for a very long time, to be more cautious when considering letting someone in, and to make sure that they prove themself worthy... it's going to be a long wait...

BBC

Sat, 07 Jan 2006 23:51:42 GMT

SO. I leave in 4.5 days for a semester in London and to Intern with the BBC. I am pumped beyond belief, yet nervous as Hell. It will be the first time I have left the country :) My family is driving me nuts, I hate living with them for more than a week.

In other news. I really don't like being a waste of someone's time. The only thing worse than that is when someone you thought might care about you doesn't deny it.

So there is this particular guy friend of mine, and I thought maybe we were getting close and that he might care for me in more than just a friend way.. but alas I think I was mislead.

I guess I should have gotten the idea, since he never talks to me about anything other than film/movies. and it takes a ridiculous amount of effort just to pry a conversation out of him.oh and when he doesnt realize I'm upset with him, oh I love that. I absolutely love a man who doesnt perceive any slight hint of emotions from anyone and doesnt allow himself to show any at all. That's a real man... that I would like to stab in the face...

maybe I'll find a lovely young aspiring gentleman in London.. sigh...

Collage of My Current Condition

Sat, 31 Dec 2005 09:29:09 GMT

I want to live where soul meets body
And let the sun wrap its arms around me
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing
I'll wait until tomorrow
maybe you'll feel better then
maybe we'll be better then

I woke up it was 7
I waited till 11
Just to figure out that no one would call
I think i got a lot of friends but I don't hear from them
What's another night all alone?
When your spending everyday on your own
And here it goes

Love is a burning thing
and it makes a firery ring
bound by wild desire
I fell in to a ring of fire...
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun than me
Tonight...

so what's another day
when I can't bear these nights of thoughts
of going on without you
this mood of yours is temporary
it seems worth the wait
to see your smile again
out of the corner of my eye
won't be the only way you're looking at me then.

If I had power to trap anything
that could hurt A human being inside a jar
I'd send it far from Earth and watch
It explode in the sun to the cheers of everyone
But, alas, that can't be done
I think I'm paranoid and complicated

Bend me, break me
Anyway you need me
All I want is you
The taste of love is sweet
when hearts like our's meet
I fell for you like a child
oh, foe one alone the fire went wild..

I fell in to a burning ring of fire.
Last night I saw my world explode

WANTED

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 02:12:52 GMT

WANTED: Intellegent, Motivated, Intiative Talking MAN

~Boys and pussies need not apply~

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 18:34:58 GMT

Have you ever found yourself shopping for someone who is deceaced?
It is very depressing I assure you...